What Is Adultery?
Adultery is sexual unfaithfulness in which a married person has sexual relations with someone other than his or her spouse, or someone has sexual relations with another person’s spouse. Jesus also taught that deliberately looking with lust is adultery of the heart.
What Does the Seventh Commandment Say?
Exodus 20:14 says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” The command protects the marriage covenant, spouses, children, families, and society.
Hebrews 13:4 adds, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Why Is Adultery More Than a Private Choice?
Marriage involves a covenant of exclusive faithfulness. Malachi 2:14 calls a wife “the wife of thy covenant.” Adultery breaks trust and joins what was reserved for that covenant to another person.
Even when concealed, the sin affects conscience, worship, emotional safety, family stability, and other relationships.
What Is Adultery of the Heart?
Jesus said, “whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).
Recognizing beauty or experiencing an unwanted temptation is not the same as choosing lust. Adultery of the heart occurs when a person intentionally looks in order to desire, fantasize, or mentally possess someone sexually.
Are Emotional Affairs Adultery?
An emotional affair may not be the completed physical act, but secret romantic intimacy with someone other than a spouse can betray marital exclusivity and move directly toward adultery.
Secrecy, deleted messages, romantic dependence, sexual conversation, and comparing a spouse with the other person are serious warning signs. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence.”
Does Online Sexual Activity Matter?
Yes. Sexting, sexual video interaction, pornography shared with another person, and secret digital relationships can involve lust, deception, and covenant betrayal even without physical contact.
Technology changes the method, not the call to purity and truth.
How Should Someone Resist Adultery?
End flirtation early, avoid private emotional dependence, maintain transparency, protect time with a spouse, and refuse situations built on secrecy. Do not confide intimate marital complaints to a potential romantic substitute.
First Corinthians 10:12 warns, “let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” Humble boundaries are wiser than confidence in personal immunity.
What Should Someone Do After Committing Adultery?
End the immoral relationship, confess to God, stop deception, seek mature pastoral counsel, obtain medical testing when appropriate, and accept consequences. Truth should be handled carefully, especially where abuse or safety concerns exist.
Repentance does not demand instant trust from a wounded spouse. Rebuilding may require time, accountability, transparency, and professional help.
Can Adultery Be Forgiven?
Yes. David committed adultery and grievous related sins, yet Psalm 51 records genuine repentance. First Corinthians 6:9–11 says adulterers were among those washed and sanctified through Christ.
Forgiveness does not minimize harm or erase every earthly consequence. It means adultery is not beyond the cleansing grace of God.
Does Avoiding Adultery Earn Salvation?
No. All people need grace. Salvation is God’s gift by grace through faith, “not of works” (Ephesians 2:8–9).
Jesus Christ died for our sins, was buried, and rose again (1 Corinthians 15:3–4). To understand salvation, read How to Be Saved.
Conclusion
Adultery is sexual unfaithfulness against marriage, and chosen lust is adultery of the heart. Emotional and digital secrecy can also betray the covenant and prepare the way for physical sin.
Christians should guard the heart, build transparent boundaries, honor marriage, and respond to failure with truthful repentance and the hope of God’s forgiveness.